i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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