It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
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i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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