I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
