I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
