Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
