Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
