I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
