you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
