Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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