Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
