so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
