Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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