i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
