Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
