Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
