We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
