Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Life is so much better after having sex.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
