dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
