Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
