Got a toothbrush?
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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