The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize