Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
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That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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