I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
