Hey man sorry I got all grabby
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think people are normalizing furries
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
