is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
