I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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