and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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