why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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