Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
