She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
