There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
