No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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