why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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