i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
