your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
