I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
