Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
