Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
