dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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