don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
