im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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