My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
