I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
