what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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