Is it normal to miss your booty call?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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