All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
