I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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