Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Mom said you looked used
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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