I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
