Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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