We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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