What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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