His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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