What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
