matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
