I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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