You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
