grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize