please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
