I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
