Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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