Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
